


"Of Ash and Bone"

by bossxtweed



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Angst, Episode: s12e05 Fugitive of the Judoon, Gallifrey, Who says you can't go home?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-06
Updated: 2020-05-06
Packaged: 2021-03-02 22:41:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 737
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24044569
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bossxtweed/pseuds/bossxtweed
Summary: Following her encounter with Whittaker!Doctor, Martin!Doctor sets out to see whether or not Gallifrey has been destroyed.Inspired by 13 telling Gat, "You are serving at the glory of ash and bone" and fueled by a sleep-deprivation induced mania.
Comments: 3
Kudos: 10





	"Of Ash and Bone"

Those words haunted her as she stood at the console, having just dropped the blonde off a safe distance away from ~~their~~ _her_ ship. She had met other lives before---mostly _younger_ ones who looked at her in awe, and more than a child or two who’d spent fearful nights sheltering aboard her ship---and all of these she’d met on the run from Gallifrey.

A deep sense of unease formed in her gut and she noted that the air smelt _off._ Not from _cold_ or even from the lingering presence of her future self, but from the fear of what she might find (a fear which was accompanied by a guilt-inducing thought: _she was_ **_finally free_** _)._

The TARDIS hummed to show her concern and the Doctor managed a weary smile. “I _have_ to know if she was right --- if, one day, our home planet will just be _gone,_ like…” she snapped her fingers.

Her ship gave another warning hum to which the Doctor waved her hand and replied, “Yeah, yeah, I _know_ I’m not supposed to cross my own timestream, but I won’t be satisfied until I have the answer.”

She set the coordinates and off they soared.

Clinging to the console with both hands, she felt that feeling of dread deepen, sinking from her stomach down into her toes, freezing her where she stood. _Don’t go ---_ part of her seemed to say --- _don’t ruin your present with knowledge of your future. Don’t go._

But another part seemed to say: _but I_ **_must._ ** _I_ **_must_ ** _understand why the other me seemed so ready to lay down and give up. I_ **_must,_ ** _I_ **_must._ **

She took in a deep, shaking breath and shoved the monitor away with one hand.

 _You’ve got to,_ she assured herself. _For all you know, Gallifrey is still there…_

Her breathing came in short, agitated gasps as she approached the doors, and she reached her hands out blindly to push them open, her eyes held firmly shut behind yellow-tinted glasses. 

The smoke hit her first. Sharp, choking. And then the vast _**emptiness** \---_the lack of **_any_** sort of greeting in her mind, the sort she’d grown used to whenever Gat or one of the other agents recalled her for a mission --- while often _sarcastic_ and _biting,_ they had served as signs that she was **_home,_** where she would always be welcomed.

 _Moment of truth,_ she told herself, bracing her hands in fists at her sides, but she again felt rooted to the spot, unwilling to open her eyes and confirm what was nagging away at the back of her mind. 

**_Alone._ **

With a spacetime ship as complex as the TARDIS, a Time Lord could never _truly_ be alone, and the TARDIS’ telepathic circuits gently nudged a feeling of empathy towards her owner. 

Forcing her eyes open, the Doctor let out a strangled cry at the sight of the ruined citadel---with its buildings burnt and crumbled and **_still smoking_** \---and she collapsed to her knees, one hand raising up to catch her sobs. 

_You might not be alone,_ part of her hoped. _Someone might have_ **_survived_ ** \--- _perhaps even_ **_multiple_ ** _someones. You could take a look around, make sure…._

That nagging feeling in her gut worsened as she forced down several shaking breaths. Empty--- **_empty._ **

_Where are the others? Probably preparing to jump out at any moment and cart me away, whisper in harsh tones how it’s now_ **_my_ ** _mission to prevent this, to save this_ **_wretched_ ** _planet and all of its inhabitants…._

She didn’t need to venture any further; if the gnawing feeling in her gut were any indication, the only life left were a few pilotless TARDIS’; and her legs felt too weak to stand, so she resigned herself to kneeling in the red dirt, even as ash flew over her, graying her hair and filling her nose with its awful particles, and the twin suns set over the ruined city.

Only, it felt as though someone were _watching_ her.

 _You might not be alone,_ part of her warned. _Whoever did this might still be around._

 _A_ **_ghost,_ **she thought, and she hastened to her feet and back into her TARDIS, not noticing the gaunt faced, brown-eyed man who watched her with barely contained sorrow.

And again, those words echoed through her mind as she sent her ship whirling through the Vortex: _“You are serving at the glory of Ash and Bone.”_


End file.
